Another new month has begun! Slow down summer! Anyway, for this New Month Mindset: July, we are talking about something important and that is positive self-talk. I’ve seen a decent amount about this topic lately and also have my own experiences with it so let’s go ahead and dive in!
What is positive self-talk?
Positive self-talk is the act of using affirmations that will boost your confidence rather than destroy it. It includes re-framing how you speak to yourself when you are upset, disappointed, or mad about something you did, said, or are in general. Positive self-talk is simply how it sounds, talking positively to oneself.
Why is it important?
Positive self-talk is extremely important because it has the ability to build you up or tear you down. We are our own worst critics. If people went around all day telling us some of the terrible things we tell ourselves, we would never go anywhere. So why do we let ourselves talk and/or think such negative thoughts? In order to have a healthier mindset and overall better image of oneself, we must utilize positive self-talk as much as possible. Doing so will boost our self-esteem, confidence, and ultimately make us better in every way.
Let’s look at just a few examples of negative thoughts and comments we often say or feel and their positive self-talk counterparts.
- Negative: I am so bad at this!
- Positive: I have work to do in order to get better, but I will get there.
- Negative: I am not good enough.
- Positive: I am worthy of the good things in my life.
- Negative: No one likes me.
- Positive: I like me and so do my circle of friends.
- Negative: I am so stupid for making all those mistakes.
- Positive: One mistake is not the end of the world. I can keep trying.
- Negative: Why can’t I be as thin/fit as them?
- Positive: With effort, I can work on my body.
Positive Self-Talk Affirmations
There are many affirmations that you can say to yourself daily, weekly, and on repeat depending on what you need. I recommend focusing on 1-2 in order to work through the self-esteem issue you may be having or to boost confidence in the way you need it. For this New Month Mindset: July, here are some affirmations to get you started on your way to a better mindset.
- You are enough.
- I forgive myself for my mistakes.
- You are a strong person.
- I have all that I need.
- Believe in yourself.
- Trust yourself.
- You will get through this.
- I am strong and healthy.
- You can do hard things.
- You are loved and lovable.
- I am confident in myself.
- I am beautiful inside and out.
- You do enough. You have enough.
- Everything will be okay.
- I am in charge of my own life.
- I am perfect just the way I am.
- My body is strong.
- Challenges make me better.
- Today will be awesome.
- I am doing my best every day.
Practicing Positive-Self Talk
In this New Month Mindset: July all about positive self-talk, we are looking at examples of what it is and isn’t. But it is also important to talk about how we can start practicing positive self-talk.
We have to start to re-frame our minds in order to allow the positive self-talk to be effective. Just like in our non-examples list, we have to start taking the negative thought or comment and turning it into something more positive that allows us to grow. This re-framing or re-shaping of our thought process will allow us to stop immediately thinking about the negative. Instead, start thinking more positive and how you can use something that has happened to you in ways for good.
Utilizing the above list and other lists of your own positive affirmations can also help with practicing positive self-talk. As I mentioned, I recommend choosing 1-2 to focus on. First, see what type of negative self-talk you are experiencing and work to identify why. Once you figure out what you seem to be most critical about, you can work to add an affirmation into your daily routine.
Say you are feeling like you are not doing enough either in your personal or professional life or maybe even in both. You experience negative self-talk such as “Why can’t you be like her?” or “You should have had that idea.” Maybe you are stuck comparing yourself to others which is ultimately making you feel like you are not enough. Once you have identified that this is the negative self-talk you want to change and you see where it is coming from, you can start aligning an affirmation to replace the negative. So for this example, I would use the affirmations below:
- You do enough every day.
- You are enough in what you do, say and are.
- Just because (he/she/they) do it does not mean what you do is less.
- Everything you are doing is enough.
- What you do matters.
Finally, another important step in practicing positive self-talk is celebrating when you do! Celebrate and acknowledge when you have done well. For example, “Lauren, you really learned from that mistake and crushed that last project!” Give yourself kudos for a job well done. Continue to build up that confidence by being proud of yourself for overcoming difficulties, challenges, mistakes, and all that negative self-talk.
Why Positive Self-Talk?
You may be thinking why is this important which we covered a little earlier or you might be wondering why I chose this topic for the New Month Mindset: July.
For starters, a positive mindset, in general, is super important, and positive self-talk is a big part of that. How can you have an overall positive mindset if you spend so much time criticizing yourself for things you did or didn’t do? It’s not healthy and it certainly isn’t helping you reach any of your goals or grow as a person.
But on the flip of that, learning to change the narrative from negative to positive will help you grow. You will learn to accept and love yourself flaws and all. Because we all got them! We might as well embrace and learn from our misgivings but doing that through negative self-talk just is not going to work.
So to answer the question about why I chose this topic for this month, it’s because I have a personal connection to it. I have and sometimes still do struggle with not using positive self-talk. I’ve experienced it everywhere from my workplace to social media, at the gym, in my social and friend networks and beyond. It can be so easy to resort to the negative about something and I tend to be a more critical person (of myself more than anyone). Thanks type-A personality!
But really, I’ve had periods of time where I focused way too much on the things that I wasn’t versus the things I was. I talked or thought down of myself for various things I did rather than choose to focus on the positive, I went straight to the negative. This was until I realized that focusing on the things that maybe were not my favorite about myself, did absolutely nothing to make it better. Let me repeat that, focusing on the things you don’t like in negative ways ONLY MAKES IT WORSE.
So what I am not as fit as other people I see at the gym? I am able to get the kind of fit I want to for me. It’s okay if I am not as far along on my blogging or social media branding as I want to be. I will get there and cannot compare my journey to anyone else’s. Even if I do leave my workplace on occasions second-guessing a decision I made wondering if I could have done better. I did the best I could at that moment.
As you can see, we all face a certain level of the negative self-talk slip in and it is easy to do. But, the more we can focus on re-framing it to the positive, the healthier, happier, and in general, the more centered we will be.
To wrap up this New Month Mindset: July, I just want to share that I believe in you. Even if you do not fully believe in yourself yet. If this post resonates with you then I highly encourage you to spend some time developing your own affirmations. Pinterest is also a great source for finding affirmation examples of all kinds. I sincerely hope you will adopt this mindset and start re-framing that negative talk into positive talk so you can really enjoy every moment of who you are.